What's French for 'ga ga' again?

Looking down on the improbably cherubic face of my week-old daughter I already find myself pondering her future. As a Brit who’s been living in Grenoble for nearly two and a half years, and married to a genuinely bilingual wife, there are some important decisions to be made soon concerning the language of our child. I’m making slow but steady progress in French although my wife and I normally converse in English. We met at University in the UK and we spent most of our first six years together in England. There was no effort – language-wise – on her part: she grew up near Grenoble in a bicultural household with a French father and an English mother. Despite having grown up in France my wife has strong roots in the UK, particularly Greater Manchester, where her mother comes from and where she spent all of her summers and Christmases since birth.

However, now that we live in France it is difficult to make the transition to speaking French together. We do sometimes, but it never progresses far beyond the pedagogic and often lapses into English if we want to refer to the numerous cultural shared references and jokes that resist translation. The other major excuse factor counting against my accelerated progress is the fact that I teach English for a living, and whereas I come into regular contact with French, in principle I am not allowed to use my students’ native language as it is contrary to the methods employed by the school at which I work (and indeed most theories of language learning). Thus, of all the knowledge I am likely to impart to my daughter, naturally pronounced (or even, for the moment, fluent) French is not one of them. Nor should it be of course. My daughter will grow up in France and no doubt have no difficulties assimilating the language.

One of the overlooked factors of language is its synonymousness with culture. My daughter will be three quarters British by blood and naturally I expect her to be bilingual but also bicultural, to embrace the British side of her identity as much as the French, more or less in the same way that my wife was able to do. My wife’s family had specific rules about language in the household that remain today: she speaks to her parents in their respective mother tongues, to one of her two brothers in English and the other in French. These bonds are hard to break or to invert: language is after all emotional too – which might be a good reason she and I found it difficult to make a meaningful switch to French.

Grenoble being very international, there are a number of organisations sprouting for Children to learn English. These range from associations which aim to support the needs of parents of mixed nationality, for example The Communication Café (more from them soon!), to those – such as the franchise Les Petits Bilingues – which offer predominantly French children a head start on the school system. The latter camp owe their existence less to Grenoble’s Anglophone base as to the increasing importance of English as a core requirement in the diplôme-centric French job market. Whereas such organisations do no harm, the word bilingual or bilingue is often misused as a selling point to French parents who want to give their children the best possible start in life. Bilingual is clearly not the right word. In my (unscientific) opinion it is practically impossible to be genuinely bilingual without growing up in a bicultural environment. Semantics aside, the traditionally globalisation-resistant French are getting pragmatic about the world’s international language.

Initially we discussed the idea of speaking to our daughter in different tongues: English individually with me, French for my wife, and English as a family. However, the early signs are that my wife feels more comfortable speaking English to our daughter, as that is what seems most natural in the context of our relationship. This may change but it will certainly not be to the detriment of our child. Where it leaves me is another question. I’m not overly worried about my abilities in French, it will come with time, but I may not get the kind of exposure to the language that I had envisaged before my arrival in the country.

It has been said to me on several occasions that I will never feel French, significantly by long-term ex-patriots fluent in the language. I agree: fluency in a language doesn’t necessarily amount to complete cultural integration. Having grown up in multicultural London, it has taken me time to adapt to the notion of my own otherness: I was surprised by what a curious specimen I seem to be to the Grenoblois. Being French wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows in the UK, I imagine. There are times when I feel like the French are from a completely different planet, though I’m sure the feeling is mutual (at least where I live). However, it is with a small modicum of sadness that my daughter will feel French, perhaps (but not necessarily) more than she feels English, and that will make me a little exception to the rule in my little bilingual household.

What is certain is that my wife and I can give my daughter a rich future accented by the best of France and Britain (perhaps meaning a British sense of humour and taste in music, with French taste buds and Gallic good looks!). We must be disciplined, but we shouldn’t be overly anxious. Unlike many couples of mixed nationality my wife and I have the advantage of both being native English speakers. I just hope that by starting a family in France, I will feel less and less étranger and increasingly at home.

There is a fair amount of literature on the web concerning bilingualism, from personal experiences to practical help, none of it particularly conclusive. However, there seems to be a general consensus that there are two principal methods to bringing up your child bilingually: 1) one parent, one language; 2) speak the minority language at home. Your opinions on the most effective are most welcome.

Related Posts:

• Reia Farrall and Zoe Atkinson: why we created Communication Café
• abc anglais – new English speaking playgroup in Grenoble
• ‘Speaking in tongues’ – an interview with Shaké Manoukian of Les Petits Bilingues Grenoble
• English Talk Radio meets ABC Anglais at Les Petits Bilingues
• Montessori International School of Grenoble opening September 2009 – an interview with Martine Grzelack